Tag Archives: love

Making room for #3!!! It’s a girl!

4 Mar

It’s official! We are adding to our brood! This time is different, though. No more “snips and snails and puppy dog tails!”—-We are bringing home a “sugar and spice and everything nice” kinda girl!

BabyGirl2016

BabyGirl

She is already making her mark in our lives. All the boys are nervous in our home. Big brother #1 is planning how he will keep the boys at bay, brother #2 is contemplating whether or not he should share his toys since she’s already pushed him out of his room.

Daddyinaction

Daddy? Well, daddy is in a frenzy getting things prepared for the “great coming!” 87 days and counting!

Hard to believe, I am going to be pushing a double stroller, thinking about bows and dollhouses. My dream as a mother has finally come true! The question is, once this dream has been accomplished…what next? I certainly don’t think I could take another 9-month physical blow. Babygirl really did a number on me.

This has been my most painful pregnancy out of all three. Some people (namely my mom) keep telling me it is because it is a girl this time. I tend to believe them as everything has been the total opposite of my experience with my two boys. This baby, whom we shall call “Hannah-Marie,” made her presence known through an almost violent bout of morning sickness, which lasted way too long and an inability to eat nor gain weight. In my 7th month now, I have gained a total of 2 pounds…yes, 2! Mind you, I am not complaining…ok, I am a bit. Only because I am afraid she is not gaining the necessary body weight she needs. I am, however, also rejoicing in the fact that she is making me look good! Right now, I am feeling content. Come what may, I am thankful for this experience and can’t wait to hold my little princess Hannah-Marie!20160201_185626

Brokenhearted fools foolishly in love or cultural disaster

4 Mar

I was recently reminded of a sad encounter I had with a young Chinese mother in a crowded Women’s Hospital. I was at the hospital waiting to be called on. Now, if you’ve ever been to a Chinese Hospital you will know that each doctor has about 300 or more patients to see in the day. A waiting room becomes something like a Hostel for the suffering!

This young woman about my age moved and sat next to me when she saw my husband Jaison sitting next to me with his hand tightly gripping mine. Her first words were broken English, shyly passing between her lips while her eyes were cast down, but I understood. Mind you, my husband and I are an interracial couple and it is somewhat rare to see a black woman with a Chinese man. I guess she felt inspired.

She went on to tell me about how she met a Nigerian man 7 years prior and fell head over heels in love. Her family strongly opposed the relationship. So much so, they forced her to marry someone of their choosing from her hometown. Since that time, she has battled depression until present. The man she married claimed he didn’t love her, but wanted to have a baby.

ImageAs I obsorbed all of this information and heartwrenching story from a perfect stranger, she dropped the craziest question: “What should I do?”  I was completely baffled and taken aback. She asked my advice because she spent 7 years looking for this Nigerian man. At the time of me hearing her story, she had tracked him down to a medical school in America. She had not yet tried to contact him. I told her perhaps it just wans’t meant to be and that she should try to learn how to love her husband and to teach her husband how to love her. She cried a lot right there in the hospital telling me her story and hearing my lame advice.

Our names were called. Before parting ways, we exchanged phone numbers and I told her I would pray for her.

Almost 2 years later, she happily sent me a Wechat (Weixin) message that she had found him. He was married and living in Africa. She wanted to go see him to see if he still loved her. I was shocked and didn’t know what to tell her at this point. I could only hope she would think about the ripple effects of her choices. Perhaps one day I will hear from her again. Not sure how I hope her story will end…just that her heart will somehow mend.

Waddle! Waddle!

6 May

I used to come home from work and my husband would exclaim, “Oh, my little duck is home!” It was so endearing! But that was all in the beginning of our pregnancy journey. I guess I should back track a bit and say sorry for not blogging this experience more often. A combination of things have kept me from doing so. First of all, dealing with all the yucky side effects of pregnancy can really through a girl off of her game. Like having a simple laugh and suddenly the flood gates have opened and you have to run to the ladies room. THEN, there’s the busy days at work where I could barely manage to teach one class without running out like a maniac just in time to make it to the garbage bin in an attempt, (I kid you not!) to throw up my lungs…or even the baby! I sooo looked forward to maternity leave! (I never got one during my first pregnancy).

Three months before I was to go on maternity leave, my husband suddenly announced that he was shipping me back to the States to give birth. Why? Well, let’s just say my medical experiences in the great and vast land of China was NOT a walk in the park! Everything was so different from what I was accustomed to for a pregnant woman. The language barrier kept me from expressing my concerns, the sanitary problems plaguing the hospitals and the crowds! Oh good God Almighty the crowds!! It’s enough to make me cringe now!

Anyway, back to my surprise, big, temporary migration to America. I was excited and depressed at the same time. How was I going to cope without my beloved husband? My Donald Duck to my Daisy! My Mork to my Mindy! Not feeling him hold my belly as I try to fall asleep at night. Not seeing the wonder in his eyes as he watches my tummy do the butterfly dance. Who will take me to my doctor’s appointments (None of which he ever missed). Who will put a steaming hot bucket for me to soak my feet in every night religiously, then rub my swollen legs down before putting me to bed? I lamented to myself, and to him every night. In the end, he still shipped me out!

_DSC0107Well, I have been in the great and sunny state of Florida for almost two months now. I get to spend time with my family and friends, but I have forgotten how busy life is in America. Work! Work! Work! Bills! Bills! Bills! So in essence no one really had the time to spend with slow and clumsy pregnant person. I sometimes feared I would go into labor and without a car at my disposal, I’d be like those girls in TLC’s “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant” screaming and hollering alone, giving birth in my sister’s toilet. Thank God this has not happened.

So far, things are progressing well. I miss my husband like crazy. I miss when I cook him an American meal that he loves, he and my son fight over who gets a 3rd helping. I miss how he looks at me and tell me how I have changed his life and given him life opportunities he never thought he would have just by loving him. I miss how he hats my cleaning habits and the way we always tag-team the laundry. I just, plain miss my suga-booga. We do communicate on Skype every day, but it’s not the same feeling as waddle waddling my way home to him every day and hearing him say, “Oh, my little duck is home!” Soon though…soon I will be back in his arms…hopefully sexy as ever, with not much baby fat left, as I hand him our bundle of joy and begin the next journey together into parenthood. Until then, I will waddle waddle my big belly around town in a perpetual haze of wonderment and occasionally stopping to breathe through my braxton hicks! More to come soon!

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