Brokenhearted fools foolishly in love or cultural disaster

4 Mar

I was recently reminded of a sad encounter I had with a young Chinese mother in a crowded Women’s Hospital. I was at the hospital waiting to be called on. Now, if you’ve ever been to a Chinese Hospital you will know that each doctor has about 300 or more patients to see in the day. A waiting room becomes something like a Hostel for the suffering!

This young woman about my age moved and sat next to me when she saw my husband Jaison sitting next to me with his hand tightly gripping mine. Her first words were broken English, shyly passing between her lips while her eyes were cast down, but I understood. Mind you, my husband and I are an interracial couple and it is somewhat rare to see a black woman with a Chinese man. I guess she felt inspired.

She went on to tell me about how she met a Nigerian man 7 years prior and fell head over heels in love. Her family strongly opposed the relationship. So much so, they forced her to marry someone of their choosing from her hometown. Since that time, she has battled depression until present. The man she married claimed he didn’t love her, but wanted to have a baby.

ImageAs I obsorbed all of this information and heartwrenching story from a perfect stranger, she dropped the craziest question: “What should I do?”  I was completely baffled and taken aback. She asked my advice because she spent 7 years looking for this Nigerian man. At the time of me hearing her story, she had tracked him down to a medical school in America. She had not yet tried to contact him. I told her perhaps it just wans’t meant to be and that she should try to learn how to love her husband and to teach her husband how to love her. She cried a lot right there in the hospital telling me her story and hearing my lame advice.

Our names were called. Before parting ways, we exchanged phone numbers and I told her I would pray for her.

Almost 2 years later, she happily sent me a Wechat (Weixin) message that she had found him. He was married and living in Africa. She wanted to go see him to see if he still loved her. I was shocked and didn’t know what to tell her at this point. I could only hope she would think about the ripple effects of her choices. Perhaps one day I will hear from her again. Not sure how I hope her story will end…just that her heart will somehow mend.

4 Responses to “Brokenhearted fools foolishly in love or cultural disaster”

  1. chinaelevatorstories March 4, 2014 at 12:13 pm #

    What a heart wrenching story!

    • celestereille March 4, 2014 at 1:45 pm #

      It is. I sporadically talk to her and she is still hurting. So many young women go through these obscene cases where they can’t even choose whom to love. Aren’t we a lucky bunch?

  2. Jocelyn Eikenburg March 4, 2014 at 2:00 pm #

    I’m with chinaelevatorstories on this one, incredibly sad!

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